


The PaRappa Town PTA Meeting!

by PurpleDrank



Series: The Semi-Wholesome Town of PaRappa Town [3]
Category: PaRappa the Rapper, Um Jammer Lammy
Genre: #relateable, Gen, Hospitals, Lawsuits, Literal Karen, Sub-Par parenting, Suicide (mentioned), pta, shaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:14:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23701408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleDrank/pseuds/PurpleDrank
Summary: Lauren tries to do her job.
Series: The Semi-Wholesome Town of PaRappa Town [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1469822
Kudos: 4





	The PaRappa Town PTA Meeting!

**Author's Note:**

> Basically a short little ditty about introducing everyone else’s parents in the PaRappa universe. Mostly exposition, but there’s some plot too. Regardless I hope you enjoy.

  
Lauren was looking over her notes as the time for the Parent Teacher Conference was about to begin. As a teacher for Dred Foxx Elementary School, Lauren had to make a presentation about the new improvements for the 2nd grade class. Although She is a 5th Grade teacher, she was brought into this meeting because her daughter, Lammy, was going into the second grade as well as the other students in her class.

Just as the clock was about to strike 4:00......

“Hellooooooo!!!!!”

SHE....walked into the door behind the stage....

“Why...Hello! Mrs. Lamb!”

“Hello, Mrs. Fox”

Karen Fox was the principal of Dred Foxx Elementary (fitting huh?). Karen was the type of person who would act as an extremely kind, and generous woman, but internally, it was a façade to hide the bitchy personality of a preppy soccer mom that even The Chin Family would be offended by. Lauren took a deep breath and pulled out a USB from her pocket.

“I have the presentation ready. I spent all night working on it, it should be good.

“Oh! That reminds me...”

Karen snatched the USB from Lauren's and crushed it between her hands....to Lauren’s surprise...

“I already made one. I sent an email to everyone else, you should have gotten it.” Lauren, who was trying desperately not to beat the ever-loving shit out of her boss, turned around. “You never gave me your email.” She said. “Oh! Well isn’t that a shame now isn’t it.” At that moment Karen changed the subject to her daughter. “Oh my goodness, Lauren, You should’ve seen my Paula at Cheerleading practice yesterday! Oh! How she was jumping all over the place...”

*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIING*

It was 4:00, and shit was about to go down.....

Parents filled the conference room as Lauren hastily set up the projector. There were several parents that she recognized from the folded up chairs. There was Katlyn Kat, a friend of Lauren and the Mother of Lammy’s best friend. Katlyn, the author of several popular romance novels (Not super famous but enough to put bread on the table), was a single parent who liked to drink red wine away from her daughter’s view. There were also the Rappa’s, Paul and Samantha. Paul was an Inventor whose Grandfather, PaRappa Rappa Sr. was the founder of the currently booming (and aptly named) PaRappa Town. Although Paul would be extremely wealthy given his bloodline and his ties with the PTNG (PaRappa Town National Guard), He donates half of the overwhelming amounts money he makes to charities, hospitals, and other forms of aid. His wife, Samantha Rappa, is also involved in the lives of PT citizens; She was assistant chief of the Fire Department. However despite this, she has recently been taking time off work due to her being two months pregnant with her second child.

General Potter Pothead Funny was a very diligent yet quiet man. Having fought in several wars and countless battles (Including the Battle for Ludenburg, Vantas, and the most recent War of Pottersville, which had been named after him), He was instantly promoted to General. He remarried 4 years after his wife died while giving birth to his daughter. A daughter who is about to enter Kindergarten in a week. He is now married to his sister in-law, Violet Chrysanthemum, who stayed home watching her niece, instead of bringing her to the parent meeting.

There were the Berri’s, DJ, and Pearl; The former was a glutton, while the latter had mild narcolepsy. They were homebodies who never who never openly go and meet new people. But make no mistake, they aren’t lazy as you would assume. Pearl Berri was a culinary genius who likes to invite friends to outdoor barbecues, while DJ, on the other hand, is an aspiring rapper who uses...very detailed and explicit lyrics.

There isn’t too much to say about the Major’s. They were your typical Nuclear family with Bill Major working as a man of business, and with Susie Major being a stay at home mom with their son in the second grade. Finally, there were the Bancha’s. Vladimir-Joesephi Krakowski Bancha was an 8 foot tall muscular and intimidating pink bear. Even the bravest of people have gone to tears over his fearsome gaze. He worked in the coal mines and lived deep within the forest. His wife, Chiaki Bancha a polar bear, a casino manager. She rarely smiled in public, and when she did it was when she saw a gambler crying because they bet all their money and became broke in a matter of seconds. Together they had a daughter, Sweety Bancha, who was one of friendliest kids in town despite her unpopular parents. There were other parents as well but none of them really stood out among the aforementioned ones.

Lauren cleared her throat. “Okay Everyone!” She smiled. Welcome to the parent, teacher and administration meeting! Now, I know that summer is over and that means your children are finally ready the get back from summer vacation, and back into the swing of things. Also, I know that you are anxious to hear about the new changes we’vemade over the summer and I for one am glad to announce”-

“The brand new playground!” Karen interrupted. Lauren scrunched her face in disgust for a moment until she remembered that she was in front of a group of people. “We added an enormous 20 foot tall slide for the kids to ride, monkey bars...(notices a primate wearing a tuxedo from the board of education)...I mean a jungle gym for them to climb, And of course our dodecahedral teeter totter!”

“With all do respect, Mrs. Fox” Lauren quietly interjected. “I do hope you are aware of the lawsuits about the ‘20ft tall slide’ that superintendent Jojo here has been calmly raising his hand about”. The monkey man stood up and adjusted his tie. “Why yes, Mrs. Fox. That exact model of the ‘Sooper Dooper Mega slide’ has already been recalled in seven different states due to the unfortunate broken bones children received when sliding down this monstrosity of a ride. He pulled out photographs of children with mangled and bloody arms, legs and ribs to the horror of the audience.

“Lauren!” Karen gritted her teeth as she put on a false smile.

“We will have those checked out and tested before we let any child on the slide. Anyway! Moving on I noticed that most of the parents here are new. I also see some familiar faces arriving in the higher grades...” Karen walked off the podium and waltzed by the small crowd.

“Mr. and Mrs. Rappa,” she addressed. “I am SO glad to see that you are both still a part of this association after ALL these years.”

“So are we ma’am” Paul proudly replied. Karen twiddled her index fingers dramatically as her smile grew a mile wide.

“So how’s little PaRappa doing?”

“Oh, you know how he is Karen,” Samantha awkwardly laughed. “He’s been making so many new friends recently.”

“Uh-Huh” Said Karen sarcastically “Have you both checked with Nurse Pillar if he has Pica yet?”

“Oh...yeah, Paul and I just figured that the glue eating thing would eventually stop sooner or later.”

“So we have gotten him vaccinated instead Mrs. Fox”

Karen was repulsed by even the annunciation of that word. “Ah...let’s just hope the new baby isn’t as...’behind’ as PaRappa.” She moved on to the next sets of parents giving exaggerated praise to all their children; She completely and intentionally skips Katlyn. Katlyn notices this and mouths the words “Check this out” to Lauren much to her dismay.

“Hey Karen, would you like to see a drawing Katy made for me?

Karen doesn’t even look back at her. “Oh no thank you Katly”-

“Oh, but I insist Mrs. Fox.” Katlyn pulls out a folded up piece of paper. She unfolds the drawing and shows it to the other parents.

  
  


Fits of laughter could be heard from the auditorium. “It looks just like you!” people cry out.

Karen, despite being really angry, lightly chuckles as she goes along with the gag. “Oh that’s your daughter alright, permanent resident of the frowny face.” Katlyn’s grin slowly started to dissolve as soon as Karen mentioned her daughter’s behavioral issues. “It’s just a phase,” she asserts. “Katy is gonna behave a lot better when it’s over I can assure you.” Karen grimaced as glances back at her ferociously.

“Oh, I bet she will. It’s just a shame that...oh you know...she doesn’t have a father figure to keep her in line.”

Katlyn was shaking in anger. Then calmly, she breathed in, she breathed out, and she started to laugh. “What is so amusing Mrs. Kat?” asked a surprised Karen.

“It’s what you said about my daughter, and how she should have a father figure. That’s all.”

“Well I don’t see anything funny about that.” the fox whined.

“It’s funny because she doesn’t HAVE a father figure at the moment.” Karen was getting easily more annoyed. “OH, and why on earth would that be?” Katlyn stopped smiling.

“It’s ‘cause my husband blew his brains out when Katy was a little girl.”

Gasps of shock could be heard throughout the room. Katlyn sat back down, acting as if nothing had happenedin the past few seconds. Lauren rushed down to her friend’s aid to calm her down. But she was “fine.”

“Why would you say something like that!?” Lauren yelled at her boss.

She pantomimes covering her mouth with her hands in ‘surprise’. “Oh dear! I am so SO sorry to hear that. I had no idea”-

“Yes you did!” Lauren screamed. “She told you this repeatedly fo four years now!”

“Lies! I knew Kevin was a soldier, but I didn’t know THAT.” Katlyn had had it. She had another remark in her arsenal as well.

“At least when he was alive he didn’t sit on his ass all day watching football.”

Karen was pissed. Several “oohs” and “damns” were thrown across the room. The atmosphere changed from a hokey school meeting to a middle school cafeteria. Karen had no other remarks for Katlyn. She was quiet. She was embarrassed. She curtly pivoted away from the audience and back to the stage all while pretending nothing had happened. It was ironic really. The fact that the principal of an elementary school was insulting another woman’s deceased husband. As she tried to get the crowd's attention again, everyone would give her a dirty look. After mumbling a quick “fuck it” to herself, she announced Lauren to the stage to finish the meeting. At that point Karen didn’t know what was worse, the fact she was called out for being a hypocrite, or that the parents in the audience were cheering when she went behind the curtains.

The rest of the meeting was a lot more calm when Lauren was on the stage. She had scrapped the slideshow that Karen made and summarized what HER presentation was about for the audience. She answered any questions the audience had and even talked about a possible bullying awareness week. Karen could be heard audibly cursing from behind the stage, but nobody really cared.

However, Lauren noticed the doors opening. A mysterious woman had entered the room. The woman dressed in a black skirt and a black secretary type uniform. This woman was actually the manager of a wealthy business corporation in PaRappa Town. She wore a pearl necklace, heavy make up, and black lipstick. She pulled up a folding chair and sat in the far back of the room. Lauren was still smiling on the outside, but annoyed on the inside. She knew this other goat lady far too well...

This was Raven Ram...

She just sat there, on her PDA for the entirety of the time she was there, and left shortly after. Lauren detested this woman far more than her boss, for reasons that she doesn’t feel comfortable explaining. It didn’t even make sense to Lauren why she was there in the first place.

According to Karen: ‘She doesn’t even need to be at these meetings anymore’...


End file.
